Month: December 2014

8 things I learned through swimming (that help me as a writer)

1. Sometimes you'll improve quickly. Don't be fooled by this into thinking your some sort of genius and headed for the Olympics (or the Booker shortlist). 2. Sometimes you'll improve so slowly it appears you're not improving at all. Don't be fooled by this into thinking you should throw in the towel. 3. Swimming, like long hours hunched over a keyboard, will sometimes necessitate the services of a good chiropractor, or sports massage therapist.  Where would I be without John Pursglove at Henfield Chiropractic or Muscle Balance Sport and Remedial Massage Therapist Caroline Telfer? 4. Sometimes you need to count in units of four, sometimes in units of 25. Other times it makes more sense to count in 100s or even 1000s.  There are unfortunate occasions when you may have to count in 17s.  Whatever you count in, get your head down and get on with it, and it'll soon start to add up.…

Have you got something yum in your tum?

This erm - poem?- is a result of a collaboration between Dexter and me.  Euan wrote his own poem (image above).   Mum: Have you got something yum in your tum? Boy:  Have you got a plum up your bum? Mum: Have you got a flea on your knee? Boy: Have you got some bread in your head? Mum:  Have you got some soot on your foot? Boy:  Have you got some beef in your teef? Mum:  Have you got some borax in your thorax? Boy:  Have you got a snack on your back? Mum: Have you got a line through your spine? Have you got a bit of Prue Leith trapped between your teeth? Have you got Aer Lingus running through your fingers? Boy:  Have you got water up your snorter? Mum:  Have you got a stoat in your throat? Boy:  Have you got a fly in your eye? Have you got a peg on your leg? Have you got a…